People call me Jessa. They say I am beautiful. I will be a liar if I say I'm not flattered by those praises. They say I can be a model because I'm tall and sexy, not white but with fair complexion. I have a short hair that will not touch my shoulders. I have a smile that can melt a man's heart, they say. I have expressive eyes that capture everybody's attention.
I can say that my life is in good terms now. Happy family, supportive friends and high grades. Plus the good reputation I gained when I won the Project Fashionista last year. Everything is fitted perfectly in its place. But still, I feel emptiness in my heart. I don't know why. I only know that the last piece to complete the puzzle of my life is still missing.Until one day, I was invited to a Youth Summer Camp.
"Jess, where do you plan to spend your vacation?" asked my cousin, my religious cousin, the one who goes to church every Friday and Sunday and reads her Bible every day. The "weirdest" (well, that's for me) young woman in the family.
"Still thinking of it," I answered back, expressionless.
"Well, I have a suggestion. I'm sure you'll enjoy it!"
Oh really? I kept this reaction to myself then spoke, "Where?"
"Baguio!" she exclaimed excitedly.
I think that's really cool! "Ahm... couz', that's a nice idea... When will we go there? Is everybody coming?"
“Told ya you’ll be excited!” she said then smiled. “Only you and I will be coming together with my friends in church. Okay, I’ll count you in. Don’t worry of the expenses. I’ll handle it. Tito and Tita already agreed. Thank you, couz’!” she exclaimed fast thet I didn’t notice she is already walking towards her room.
Err, so irritating! Mha-ye might already have planned for it. Summer vacation with a bunch of crazy people (that’s how I call “Church People”)? I can’t imagine it. Urgh!
The following month, Mha-ye told me t prepare for my things. She said she will fetch me and we will go together to their church, the meeting place I suppose. Though not comfortable, I can’t do anything about it. I’m already caught in the middle of Mha-ye’s plan.
I brought my red jacket with me. That was my favorite jacket because Lola Beng made it for me. I wore my most precious treasure- a golden necklace with a butterfly pendant given by Daddy in my Debut.
“Ready, couz’?” she asked.
“Yah.”
We rode on a bus. I slept on our way to Baguio. Before we travelled, these people prayed first. As I was listening to their joyful and fervent prayer, I felt something inside me that I can’t name. I don’t want to entertain that feeling, so I just ignored it and slept.
The next thing I know is we were already in Baguio. We were in a school. The leader told us to unpack our things. She led us to our room where we will stay for three days.
I thought I will be compelled to follow what the group will be doing. It never came into my mind that my life will be forever changed after that encounter.
It all started when my treasured necklace got lost. That was the most annoying day of mine. I cried pails of water and nobody could make me stop. I was like a child having her tantrums.
“Couz’, please stop crying. We are here to enjoy,” says Mha-ye. She was comforting me and I felt her sincerity down to my tendons and ligaments. I don’t want to talk to anybody so I just opened my ears, not knowing that my heart followed. “You are here for a reason.”
“Me? Not we?” I asked her, confused.
“Yes. You. I already knew my reason for existence. Would you want to know the purpose why you were here?”
Suddenly, my overflowing tears stopped. I could not explain why. “Yes,” I said immediately.
“Come, I will shoe you.”
She stood up and led me to the activity area. I stared at everybody. Why were they so serious? I turned my attention to the one who is speaking?
“Right now, Jesus is knocking at the doors of your heart. Can you feel Him? He wants you to accept Him. If you are feeling empty, like puzzle whose last piece is missing, I tell you, Jesus is the answer. Just let Him to be in your lives. Are you willing to surrender your lives to Him?”
I felt like the speaker is pertaining to me. Everything he said tore me to pieces. Now, it wouldn’t matter anything at all. I don’t care what others will say about me. I closed my eyes, lifted my hands and started speaking praises for God.
“Yes, Lord. I know now what’s missing in my life. I acknowledge what You did on the cross for me. I am sorry. I accept You as my personal Lord and Savior and promise to live a life of obedience from now on.” Tears came flowing from my eyes. Then, after a while, I felt good. Relieved. Refreshed.
My cousin was right. That experience was life-changing.
We went home from Baguio with new Spirit from God. As we travelled, a fast car coming out from nowhere bumped into our bus. Heavy rain fell and mud flowed from the mountains. We rolled to the edge of the cliff.
“Lord, I know nothing’s impossible with You. Take care of my soul, Father,” I heard myself speaking before I finally closed my eyes.
I don’t know how long it took but when I opened my eyes, I see nothing but white. I am lying in a soft bed. Am I dead? Is this heaven?
“Couz’, you’re okay! I thought you’re not gonna survive. Thank, God.” It was Mha-ye’s voice. No, I’m not dead yet. I am in the hospital.
“Thank you, Mha-ye.”
“Thank you for what?”
For teaching me my purpose.”
Mha-ye smiled and held my hand. “I did not teach you, God did.”
I smiled, too. “Right. And I knew my purpose now- that is to live as a testimony for those who are lost.”
